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 Hi Janice -- I recently met a man that I like very much. We've only gone out on 2 dates, but I see it having a lot of potential for a future. In the meantime, someone who I respect a lot wants to introduce me to another man who sounds really great. What do I do? AliciaDear Alicia -- Deciding to become exclusive can be difficult, but not so difficult if you have some guidelines. Usually, dating more than one person at a time runs the risk that your emotional energy and attention will get diffused between the two people. Since you are in the process of determining if someone can meet your emotional needs, as well as your intellectual, spiritual and physical needs, I suggest that singles understand that they need to give their dating partners all of their attention. That being said, as I see it, there are two ways that you can decide whether or not to go out with more than one person at a time: 1. You feel very strongly, usually on a gut level, that you know and like the person you're dating that you don't want to get distracted by dating anyone else. This is a perfectly legitimate reason to refuse being introduced to someone new, which can be handled by telling your friend, "I'm busy right now, but please don't forget about the match! I'll let you know if and when I become available." 2. Alternatively, you should, usually between the 3rd and 5th date, be able to broach the subject of becoming exclusive with your dating partner.
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The best way to do this is by being direct, "What do you think? Should we become exclusive, [i.e., not date anyone else] now?" How your dating partner responds to this question will tell you lots about his/her ideas about creating a future together with you. But if you don't feel it on a gut level (#1 above), or have reached the 3rd to 5th date (#2), then I say that you are free to date anyone else up until you feel it, or are ready to discuss it. Good luck!
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