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This is a follow up and elaboration of my article Your Dating Road Map, where I discussed how to go about describing and attracting the kind of people you want to date. Let's start by having you ask yourself the question I posed in the article -- "What would the person that I'm looking for, be looking for?" Here are some examples:
a. A woman wants a husband who is religious and serious about living his spirituality, even as he pursues career success. But the woman is involved in fashion and watching a lot of t.v., higher priorities than going to Bible study.
b. A man wants a wife who is slim and fit, but he's made being fit and healthy a low priority for himself; and
c. A woman desires a husband who is family-oriented and loves children. Yet she herself has an estranged relationship with her parents and rarely visits her nieces and nephews. In order to attract the partners each of these people want, they will have to "qualify" themselves. This is frequently a missing piece during the dating iprocess as singles don't necessarily realize that our relationships tend to mirror who we are on the inside. Regardless of what we say we want in a partner, we generally attract someone reflecting who we are and where we're at in our lives.
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Applying the "qualification" process to the examples, what would each of the desired partners be looking for? And how could each of these singles be the kind of partner the person they desire, desires? Obviously then, the woman wanting a religious man should attend Bible study classes herself, and the man wanting a slim and fit wife should go to the gym himself, etc. Essentially, what I tried to convey in Your Dating Road Map is that you should live the kind of life you strive for now. This will help you to attract the kind of candidates you want as your potential life partner because, remember, we generally attract others who reflect who we are and where we're at in our lives. Of course, I occasionally receive the challenging question, "Why do I have to do all of this introspection and self-improvement? Isn't there someone out there who'll love and accept me unconditionally?" The answer I give is "Yes, and that will be your mother." But because I know she wants you to be happily partnered, she'll want you to do what I'm suggesting! Figuring out how you can better attract the kind of dating partners you want to attract has other benefits to help you too, such as:
1. It stops you from looking at others to change in order to suit you;
2. It prevents you from blaming your misery on being single; and
3. It gives you things to do to feel more proactive and in control of your life. As I said in the article, focusing on yourself and determining how to improve your chances of attracting those you want to attract, you are preparing yourself, i.e., "qualifying" yourself, for the partner and relationship you want. And you'll both be better in the end.
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