*Find a Husband After 35* is for any marriage-oriented single!

Find a Husband After 35, Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School, by Rachel Greenwald, is a book that I've been recommending ever since it was published in the fall of 2003. That's because it shares not only a perspective, but also a direction, that I've encouraged marriage-oriented singles to take in their search for a life-partner relationship.

I tell everyone not be mislead by the title! The book really is not just for single women over the age of 35. Women in this demographic is just the "market segment" that Greenwald targeted to sell her "simple 15 step action program" which she just calls "The Program." I see "the Program" as being useful to any single, regardless of age or gender, who is willing to make finding a life partner their #1 priority.

Greenwald takes a business approach to achieving the desired result -- she creates an "action plan" to be followed carefully. This is also a common principle in motivational psychology. The 15 steps of The Program utilize business principles common in marketing and advertising. Singles may ask, "but doesn't that take the magic out of just meeting someone and seeing if it works out?" For many years I've said "no," because singles have to be in the right place both mentally and physically in order to recognize suitable candidates, and then to see if "magic" happens. Greenwald supports this view by laying bare the harsh statistics for singles: there are less single men and women over age 35 than there are younger than 35. And singles over 35 have lifestyles that provide less exposure to new people than they did when they were in their 20's. So what you do, and don't do, has to be crafted and deliberate, and always with achieving your ultimate goal in mind.

While Greenwald directs her readers to work The Program with "a mentor," I found it to be an excellent guidebook for working with an experienced relationship coach. An example of the importance of working with a coach is best exemplified in Step #5. This is where Greenwald presents the necessity of creating a "personal brand," an essential marketing principle designed to communicate what makes your product, i.e., YOU, different from all of the other products (other women).

How many times have singles spoken to matchmakers (well-meaning friends as well as professionals) who've said that they attempted to describe you to a perspective date, but couldn't find the right words, to best convey your unique and special qualities? Greenwald shows singles how to craft their own brand, and how to then convey it to their designated "target market" -- the people they want to date.

Creating an effective personal brand is truly a team effort as it requires a lot of thoughtful reflection and feedback from others to make sure that it accurately and succinctly represents YOU. This is where it's essential to work with a mentor or a coach, who can help guide you to articulate your self-knowledge and your life's direction. A coach will also be a sounding board to give you feedback as to how your brand resonates with others, and then adjust or change it if necessary.

Other sections of the book are also extremely valuable. I liked how Greenwald cogently and calmly encourages readers to "cast a wider net." This is frequently one of the most frustrating experiences that I've had as a coach -- getting singles to start thinking "outside of the box" about who they want as partners. And as singles get older, they stay entrenched in their little boxes, which inevitably limits the number of potential candidates to date. Aaaarrrgghh! But Greenwald gently presents a strategy to help singles s-t-r-e-t-c-h their criteria for what they're looking for, all for the purpose of getting a larger number of prospects to date. I found that following the steps in this chapter to be preferable to putting my clients on a stretching rack!

Overall, Greenwald conveys, in a sensitive and straight-forward manner, a goal-oriented action plan for singles who are truly marriage-oriented. It's not for the faint of heart. And it's especially not for those women who are still wishing that a fairy godmother wave a magic wand and grant them a husband. That's because Prince Charming has already been taken.