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Janice encouraged me ask the *difficult* questions to determine if we were on the same page with regard to our life goals & desire for commitment.....Janice continues to help me navigate the ever-increasing number of decisions that must be made about our future.
-- Allison, age 37[Click here to read more]
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I invite you to join me and and other members in discussions of just about anything related to dating and relationships.
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quietone
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Post subject: i need some advice
 Posted: Oct 19, 2008 - 09:10 PM
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Joined: Oct 19, 2008
Posts: 1
Status: Offline
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am 40 years old, married with children. I recently returned to work after an operation to find a new employee in the dept. He is only 22 years old. As soon as I was introduced, I felt an attraction. I know, don't say it. I am married and shouldn't even be thinking or even writing this. He sits in the next aisle from me/ Ever since the day I met him, he walks by my desk, which has a partial wall, and looks right at me. I notice him doing it all the time. Even when he is on the other side of the dept, he looks my way. For the first couple of weeks, he used to walk around the other way. Just the past week, he has been coming right past my desk, looking right at me and smiling. He is driving me crazy. He comes over to my desk to ask me simple things, like where someone sits, who would handle this, etc.
One day, he was sitting alone in the lunch room and I told him he could come and sit with me & my friends.(I was the only one at the table at the time. I figured why would he want to sit with a bunch of older women. To my surprise, he came right over and sat across from me and started talking. When my friends go to the table, he acted as if they weren't there. Just continuing talking to me as if we were the only ones there. Then, the girls & I decided to go and sit outside for the remainder of our lunch hour. I didn't want to be rude so I asked him if he wanted to come too. He could have said no or even lied, but he walked with me and came too. He even sat next to me on the bench. Talking to me like no one else was around. He sits right next to my friend, who he calls his "mom #1". That afternoon, he emails me with something to work on and starts it off with "Mom#2". It was so cute. I wrote back with the info and started it off "Son #3". He still comes by my desk, asking me to stuff for him. Then today, was the weirdest thing. He comes over to my area, where the coffee station is every day for sugar & cream in his black coffee. He has a small coffee maker at his desk. He always hangs around a while and talks. Today, we were out of sugar. I know he pours it for about 30 seconds. Uses a lot. lol
When I went downstairs for my coffee, I brought back some for the dept & some in a cup for him. When I came back, I left it on his desk. He was on the phone, but smiled and mouthed, you're the best with a thumbs up. I went back to my desk. A few minutes later, i get an email from him asking me what I meant by all the sugar. I emailed him back and said, well, I know we were out of sugar and I didn't want him to have his coffee without his sugar. I asked him what did you think I meant by it? He responded with a "haha" and said thanks ma. Then this afternoon, the other people in his dept had a meeting. He emailed me again just to tell me that they left him all alone and added a sad smile. I emailed him back and told him to come over and visit if he was alone. He was busy on the phones all day. I don't know what to think of all of this. He is a real nice guy. The other day, he was making microwave popcorn. When it was done, he came by my desk and asked if I wanted any. He did not ask anyone else in the dept. Yesterday, he was busy all morning and I did not see him, after a couple of hours, he came into my area and said "HI MA". He is young enough to be my son, but I feel this attraction to him that I cannot explain. He continues to make it a point to look at me when he rounds the corner by my desk. He seems to always be in my direct view. I really do not know what to think of all of this attention. He even comes to my desk and asks me if I want anything for lunch because he is going out at lunchtime. If I could get some advice from anyone, maybe someone who is dealing with this type of situation, I would appreciate it!
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cristina
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Post subject: RE: i need some advice
Posted: Oct 24, 2008 - 03:11 PM
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Joined: Sep 23, 2008
Posts: 4
Status: Offline
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dear quietone dont feel guilty for feeling attraction for somebody im not dealing with this kind of situation but based on what you wrote hes just being nice at anymoment sounds like hes trying to get with you in another level hes being very friendly he might feel very comfortable with you more than with anybody else besides if you feel attracted to him you might be comfusing the nice,sweet, etc with flirting and you cant be blame or nothing for liking somebody yonger than you i mean we can all feel attracted to someone that has cualities that you like but if you are married have a family dont get ur head get over your hart think about it first ...what if you guys become in more than friends what is after that would it be worth it if your family finds out remember everything is known in this worl sooner or later i hope this might help you at least a bit wish you good luck!  |
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