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atg
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Post subject: Why the mixed signals?
 Posted: May 18, 2006 - 01:18 AM
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Joined: May 18, 2006
Posts: 2
Status: Offline
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I've been dating someone for the past seven weeks (most of our relationship has been over the phone). Things started off great, seeing each other twice a week...then after I returned from a week long trip, things seemed different. We continued speaking on the phone but he did not ask to see me. When I asked if he was trying to tell me something he named all the things he had going on and said he understood how I felt although I was reading too much into things. ...That him not seeing me was not a way of him telling me anything. We did not see each other for over two weeks.
I was invited after date two to go with him to a family event out of town. I decided to go to learn more about him through his family and enjoyed the experience.
Upon returning home we saw each other for the first time really (alone) since my week-long trip and our recent trip to visit his family. Things felt distant and his affection for me seemed the same as we said our good-bye's for the evening (different from our previous dates).
He told me he wasn't coming up when he dropped me off...(and we've all seen that Sex and the City episode, right? He's just not that into you...) Although we stood downstairs for forty minutes talking. What gives? 
I feel he's giving me mixed signals. He knows I'm looking for a relationship and although we talk regularly he is not as free with his time as I would like him to be. Shouldn't he want to see me more often?
I feel I will not be able to continue like this for much longer...wondering what gives and if he's interested in me. I feel like if I have to ask...then the answer is in the question. At the same time its like he does just enough to keep me wondering. ...?
I need more and want to tell him although am not sure how to without a risk of losing him. I know its still early in the relationship and I do not want to "scare" him off.
What do I do? |
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Janice
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Post subject: Re: Why the mixed signals?
Posted: May 21, 2006 - 02:51 PM
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Site Admin
Joined: Mar 19, 2004
Posts: 228
Location: New York City
Status: Offline
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If this guy was really "into" you, is this how you'd expect to be treated? The answer, most likely, would be "no." So he's giving you "mixed signals" to communicate that he's not interested in developing more of a relationship with you.
You say--
Quote:
I need more and want to tell him although am not sure how to without a risk of losing him. I know its still early in the relationship and I do not want to "scare" him off.
What would you actually be "losing?" If it's the time he meagerly gives you, well, yeah, you would be losing that. But don't you think you deserve to be with a guy who'd want to be with you MORE? What else would you be "losing?" Those unsatisfying phone conversations?
I suggest that you either accept what he gives you (which IMHO, is crumbs) and never complain or ask for more; or look for someone who will give you clear signals that he wants you to be in his life more, not less.
Good luck! |
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gordman
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Post subject: RE: Re: Why the mixed signals?
Posted: Aug 14, 2007 - 12:32 PM
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Joined: Aug 14, 2007
Posts: 4
Status: Offline
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| You are right about this... |
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