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kg1022
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Post subject: dating someone whose heart lies in a different state
 Posted: Nov 17, 2005 - 12:50 PM
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Joined: Nov 17, 2005
Posts: 1
Status: Offline
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I have been dating an amazing woman for 4 months and I just struck a nerve of hers over the weekend. See, she lives and works in the area but her family and friends live about a hour plane ride away. We were talking on Sunday about our holiday plans and for some reason I had thought that we might be able to share New Years Eve together. I found out that it won't work because she will still be with her family and friends. I guess my reaction was one of shock but her reaction has been that we probably can't go on any further. She said that I shouldn't resent the fact that she is going to be away to visit friends and family on occasion. Do I have a right to be saddened that we will be apart? Any tips on dealing with this or am I just taking things way too seriously too soon?
Thanks. |
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Post subject: RE: dating someone whose heart lies in a different state
Posted: Nov 17, 2005 - 01:45 PM
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| Hmmm. I could be wrong here, but after 4 months ... if things were going well ... I'd want to spend NY's Eve with the person I am dating. What was the explanation that she offered? If it was an acceptable explanation ... like maybe this is something she does every year for NY's Eve or for her to change her plans it would cost her a lot of money to change her airfare ... maybe I'd accept it. But I might also expect her to offer to invite me up to spend NY's Eve with her and her friends. And I do agree that she's certainly entitled to visit with friends and family on occasion and you shouldn't necessarily feel bad. But after 4 months ... if the relationship is going well ... I'd expect some of those occasions to begin to include you. |
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Janice
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Post subject: dating someone whose heart. . .
Posted: Nov 18, 2005 - 02:39 AM
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Site Admin
Joined: Mar 19, 2004
Posts: 276
Location: New York City
Status: Offline
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How people, especially singles, decide to spend the holidays is often influenced by their family's customs and traditions. You are a rather new addition in her life, and so it appears that while you prefer to spend the holidays and New Year's with a girlfriend, she may prefer to be with her family. Who knows how early she purchased her tickets, and you admit that "for some reason I had thought that we might be able to share New Years Eve together," which may have made you too late to get her to alter her plans.
You don't provide enough information to help us understand why you are concluding that "her reaction has been that we probably can't go on any further." While I don't know why this would mean the end of your relationship, I just see how you won't be able to spend these holidays with her. You may be feeling sad about that possibility, and that's understandable, of course. But if you're truly meant to be, then you can certainly spend Valentine's Day together, and many more holidays for years to come. |
Last edited by Janice on Nov 18, 2005 - 01:31 PM; edited 1 time in total
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Post subject: RE: dating someone whose heart. . .
Posted: Nov 18, 2005 - 06:39 AM
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| You have every right to feel a bit sad that the two of you would be apart. I would be as well. It's only natural to miss the person you care about. |
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Post subject: RE: dating someone whose heart. . .
Posted: Jan 06, 2006 - 03:11 AM
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| Perhaps she's "just not that into you"....Consider the reality & don't accept lame excuses. |
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