|
After years of trying to build relationships using the wrong tools, I turned to Dr. Janice who has given me the right skills for dating. I would recommend her as a relationship
coach wholeheartedly.
-- Rebecca[Click here to read more]
|
Main Menu
|
|
|
Online
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Welcome to the Doctor Love Coach Message Boards!
I invite you to join me and and other members in discussions of just about anything related to dating and relationships.
This is a place for everyone to share, so please respect each other and enjoy!
Check out the FAQ for help getting started, or jump right in to the discussions below!
|
| Author |
Message |
|
|
|
Post subject: Am I Reading The Signs?
 Posted: May 28, 2008 - 03:49 AM
|
|
Joined: May 28, 2008
Posts: 2
|
|
About 9 months ago I (19 years old) moved to Denver, Colorado from Seattle, Washington to be closer to my best friend from high school. Around January 16th, we decided to go a dance/club event together with a bunch of friends. I introduced her to other people I knew who were all getting ready at one house. (Keep in mind this is basically three groups joining up together) They followed us to her friend's house. Her friend's hadn't quite gotten ready yet so we were waiting in the living room. A guy named Ben (he's 19years old) walks up to me and asks me name and then smiles at me and we sit and chill in the room until people finally decide that since the time was currently 9:30pm and the event started at 8pm that we should get going. At the dance event I was sitting in a room drinking with my friends when Ben came up to me again and sat and talked with me for awhile. Then he left and that was the last I saw of him until the end of the night when we were leaving.
He immediately found me on myspace the next day and we sat and talked the whole day away and continued to send messages back and forth everyday since.
On February 9th our giant group again went to a club but this time each of the three groups went separately and we all met up at the club. Ben pulled me aside there and talked for me for awhile then asked me if one of my friends was single. She was but wasn't interested in him. And that was more or less the end of my night with him.
On March 8th we again were at the club only this time he spent a majority of the time with me. (Keep in mind we're still talking to each other everyday since January 10th) The dance got shut down around 1am (was suppost to last until 6am) when someone was busted with drugs or something anyway the whole group went back to my friends house and we all sat in his living room. We carry blankets in the back of all our cars in case something like this happens so we basically turned his living room into a giant bed. Ben came over and sat next to me and all of us watched movies until about 7am when everyone fell asleep.
On April 19th. Ben invited me to go dancing at a concert with him but something came up and I had to tell him no because I didn't think I could go. About two hours after it started I went in and found him in the front of the crowd of people. I tapped him on the shoulder and waited for him to turn around. When he did he took me by the shoulders and kissed me then hugged me really tight telling me he was so happy to see me. You can't even imagine how happy I was to hear that especially after having a crush on him since I met him but not thinking he liked me since he asked if my friend was single. We danced for awhile but I wondered off checking out the building. He found me about two hours later dancing in the back because there was less people. So he stayed with me in the back until it was time to leave. He walked with me outside and gave me a hug again then gently kissed me again then left.
That would seem like a pretty clear sign that he likes me but what confuses me is that after that day we fell back into being like old buddies and nothing more. I went to the movies with him and he was acting really sweet and gave me hugs and smiling at me all the time. But then the next day again in his messages and phone calls we sound like good friends but nothing else again.
He keeps saying he wants to spend time with me and when we do it's the most amazing feeling but anytime else like on the phone he seems to have absolutely no interest in me. Is he just leading me on or is this just how he is? This is a huge problem for me because I can't stop thinking about him and I'm just not exactly sure how to tell him how I fell. Sorry the story is so long but it's the series of events that make the story. |
Last edited by ToxicGlo on Jun 07, 2008 - 10:10 PM; edited 1 time in total
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
Janice
|
|
|
Post subject:
Posted: Jun 06, 2008 - 11:06 PM
|
|
Site Admin
Joined: Mar 19, 2004
Posts: 228
Location: New York City
Status: Offline
|
|
This guy has no real interest in you other than as a friend with whom he can enjoy flirting and fooling around with. . . all when he decides. If you continue to let him take the initiative all of the time, then you allow the relationship to be guided strictly on his terms, as dictated by his feelings.
Telling him how you feel about how he treats you may get him to be considerate of you and your feelings. However, there's no guarantee. The only way that you may move this relationship forward is by asking for it. I know that a lot of singles, women and men, are often afraid of asking for what they want and are willing to take what they're getting in the HOPE that things will change. They don't want to lose the connection that have, but are unhappy about it not meeting their needs. But if this has been going on for awhile, and he's not asking for anything more serious from you (verbally or not) to step it up, then it's not likely that he's interested in more.
You can continue to stay in "the friend zone," and accept what he has to give on his terms, but know that you won't get more unless you ask. I doubt that he'd dump you as a friend, but he may just move on to the next girl (if he hasn't already). |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Post subject:
Posted: Jun 07, 2008 - 10:00 AM
|
|
Joined: May 28, 2008
Posts: 2
|
|
| I was afraid he was just playing around with me. Thank you for your words of advice. It's a nice change to have someone tell me the cold hard truth instead of telling me what I want to hear so my feelings aren't hurt and instead letting everything blowing up in my face later. He doesn't seem like the person who would dumb me as a friend for telling him what's on my mind so I'll take the first step and see what happens. Thanks so much again for the advice! |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
steffany
|
|
|
Post subject: is he interested? should i ask him to hang out sometime
Posted: Jul 21, 2008 - 05:22 AM
|
|
Joined: Jul 21, 2008
Posts: 1
Location: north carolina
Status: Offline
|
|
my friend says he's interested but i've never even spoken to him,...YET
so theres, this guy that i seem attracted to, he doesn't seem like a jock or very preppy he seems laid back, but he works at wal*mart and he's in his 20's, and the first time i saw him i was taking rolls of film to be developed, as i walked in looking down at the rolls of film and my feet, as i slowly started looking back up i noticed he was looking at me smiling as he was stacking something on the shelves he took a moment to glance, i'm rather shy so i smiled back quickly , blushed a bit and looked back at the rolls of film. the second time i saw him was when i went shopping with friends one of my friends was lost (i lost her, i lose her when she shops) and when i turned to go down one aisle their he was, he looked up at me, as my feet were glued to that very spot i was nervously shy, because he smiled very openly at me when nobody else but me and him were in the aisle, he glanced at my eyes for a very long time until i got nervous and left, my cousin tony which is abot 30  (HE'S SINGLE IF U GIRLS WANT A SHOT) well tony he's very protective of me, and he doesn't like me being enthusiastic of guys much, but i told him to mind his own buisness, when i found my friend i turned around and this mystery guy was standing right behind me with a big smile once again, and then...my cousin tony hugged me from behind and kissed my cheek when he noticed i was interested in the mystery guy.
which really ticked me off because that guy must think i'm tony's girlfriend!
well i don't know if he's attracted to me but i know i'm attracted to him
i'm thinking about talking to him the next time he smiles at me, and possibly hang out afterwards
but i'm not sure if he's interested...
what do u lady's think?  [/quote] |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
FAQ
Search
Register
Log in to check your private messages
Log in
