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katiek68
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Post subject: He called his ex-girlfriend...Should I be worried? Help!
 Posted: May 24, 2008 - 05:27 PM
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Joined: May 24, 2008
Posts: 1
Status: Offline
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I've been dating my boyfriend for about 7 1/2 months. He dated his ex girlfriend for about 3 months and they broke up about 4 months before we met, but she still tried to contact him all the time after we started dating. He told me she had finally stopped calling and/or emailing, and he's recently told me he hasn't talked to her in "months". I know this is kinda far "out there", but I've had a couple of dreams lately where I went through his phone and saw that they had been calling each other. Maybe this made me a little bit paranoid (and I thought it was weird I had more than one dream about this), so I went through is phone yesterday and found out they have talked, within the past couple of weeks. This was just a couple of phone calls, but they went both ways (ie. he's called her, too). I'm totally shocked by this, and upset at the fact that he lied to me, and I don't know if I should confront him on this. If I do, then I'm the "bad guy" because I went through his phone. I feel kinda guilty about going into his phone, but I'm sort of glad I did because now I know. I'm not sure how to approach him on this or how I should act now. What does this mean? And what should I do about this??? I'm so confused!  |
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Janice
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Post subject:
Posted: May 27, 2008 - 02:40 AM
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Site Admin
Joined: Mar 19, 2004
Posts: 228
Location: New York City
Status: Offline
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I have found that when singles snoop on their girlfriends or boyfriends, it's usually because they feel something is lacking in their connection to one another. Call if lack of trust, but it's what drove you to snoop. Of course, if you found nothing, you might have dreamt up another thing to check up on him about. But you did find something that you believe supports your allegation that he has been disloyal, and you're not sure what to do about it.
Truthfully, "a couple of phone calls" may mean nothing is going on other than a few brief hellos. But it could mean more if you've observed actual behaviors within your relationship that you believe are creating distance between the two of you. You did not mention anything in your post about any other behavior that might look like he's cheating on you, so I don't know what you were looking to support.
So, are you just testing him by asking him about his ex? Or are you just on a fishing expedition, looking for something to bust him on because you're feeling insecure? Only you can answer these questions. But in the meantime, I suggest that you be direct and ask him about actual things he says or does that arouse your suspicion, rather than going behind his back. It may backfire, and you'll have to accept the consequences for that. |
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