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Welcome to the Doctor Love Coach Message Boards!
I invite you to join me and and other members in discussions of just about anything related to dating and relationships.
This is a place for everyone to share, so please respect each other and enjoy!
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loveme83
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Post subject: Friends or More Than Friends...
Posted: May 05, 2008 - 04:35 AM
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Joined: May 05, 2008
Posts: 1
Status: Offline
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| my mine is made up...THANK YOU, JANICE!! |
Last edited by loveme83 on May 20, 2008 - 05:10 AM; edited 1 time in total
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Janice
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Post subject:
Posted: May 19, 2008 - 04:38 PM
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Site Admin
Joined: Mar 19, 2004
Posts: 228
Location: New York City
Status: Offline
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It is what it is -- he has a girlfriend and you are in the friend zone, albeint one with with fuzzy boundaries. If this guy has an exclusive relationship with someone else, then you owe it to yourself, as well as to the girlfriend, to set and enforce some boundaries for appropriate behavior between you and the guy. Doing so will communicate to him that you respect his relationship, as well as protect you from developing unrealistic expectations and getting hurt.
This means that you have to tell him not to speak with you with intimate endearments (using nicknames or sending kisses over the phone) and not tell you when he's upset or disappointed with his girlfriend. Let him know that you believe he is a loyal boyfriend to his girlfriend and consequently should behave that way.
Of course, it's a no-brainer that you should date and find someone who is truly available to be in a relationship with you. If you don't, and you pine away for this unavailable guy, then you are allowing him to keep you from creating your own life. Not what a REAL friend should do, don't you agree?  |
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