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pharaoh
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Post subject: Taking things slow
 Posted: Jun 25, 2007 - 03:59 AM
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Joined: Jun 25, 2007
Posts: 2
Status: Offline
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I'll try to make this short. I work with a guy (no work/relationship boundarys and it is not a problem) and we have been really hitting it off. Weve just met awhile ago maybe 9 months but the last few months weve been really liking each other. He has stepped things up quiet a bit lately.
He has given me so many compliments either directly or through friends, and talks to me tons even though he is very shy. We have been hanging out more and more with other couples going to concerts, movies, a bbq at my house etc.
i had a bbq and it was 6 couples. everyone left and he stayed. we sat up and watched tv till 11 the next afternoon. he is so respectful of me and wonderful. we didnt even touch....so even though it was great i was confused...like was he just being a friend.
after that he went on vacation for aweek, came back and we went to a concert together. we had so much fun and flirted the entire night. my friend told me that she thinks he is really really into me but is taking things really slow because he doesnt want to ruin our friendship in any way.
now the last few days i feel like hes pulling back a bit. he'll still sit by me at lunch and talk to me but the last few days havent been exactly the same. like hes pulling back. what can i /should i do? |
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Janice
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Post subject:
Posted: Jun 26, 2007 - 03:27 AM
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Site Admin
Joined: Mar 19, 2004
Posts: 228
Location: New York City
Status: Offline
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My opinion has always been that a shy guy will miss the boat if he doesn't make a move for a girl that he likes. It's as simple as that. Some guys are not sure if a girl likes him, so they'll draw things out for a long time to be ultra-sure that there is enough of a "friendship" so that they won't feel rejected. But the bottom line is that you are confused about his interest and intentions. In my opinion, the only way you're going to know if he likes you as more than a friend is to ask him.
Knowing that he's "shy" therefore means that you have to take the initiative. And if you do, make sure that you're okay with that. Because if you do end up having a relationship, it's likely that this is an example of his style and he'll hesitate taking the initiative on other things too.
I suggest you tell him that you are feeling confused. Let him know that you like him as more than a friend, and then ask him how he feels. Listen carefully to what he says. If he doesn't say anything about being more than friends with you then take it as meaning just that -- he only wants to be friends. You can decide what to do from there. Good luck! |
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pharaoh
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Post subject: ...
Posted: Jun 29, 2007 - 12:46 PM
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Joined: Jun 25, 2007
Posts: 2
Status: Offline
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I just dont have the nerve to do that. i try to give him some kind of indication that im interested in him...but he has given me many more signs..telling me he thinks im attractive, have great style, tells my friends things he likes about me, he remembers things that he tells me, like wanting to borrow something and does it immediately for me....but as SOON as we seem to get closer, things going really well, he will really back up.
So my strategy has been to back up a little too. is that wise? i know we are friends and we do see each other and i dont want to lose any of that, maybe that is what he is thinking as well. i dont know. but ive been alittle more "friendlike" and when i do he seems to come around more. waits for me by the car, brings in movies that i just mentioned etc.
is this the right approach? |
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