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wakko
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Post subject: We work t'gether, can we date?
 Posted: Mar 24, 2006 - 08:17 PM
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Joined: Mar 24, 2006
Posts: 3
Status: Offline
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| ok i'm almost positive this guy i work with who's about 24 is interested in me. and i'm about 19. see he'll do a bunch of silly things that'll make me laugh; i'll also catch him starring at me but he won't look away, he'll actually hold it; and the when i went in last time all dressed up the first thing he says to me is "you look nice" and gives me the thumbs up sign with this smirk on his face. and later that night when i was waiting for my ride from work i was talking to someone else and he started talking about a simular situation he had. but the problem is it says right in my work handbook and i quote: "Employees in leadership positions cannot date, socialize or fraternize with employees under their direct or indirect supervision" and more times then not i'm under his direct supervision. but he's also commented about not really abiding by this rule. i'm very interested in him and he has a personality of someone i would normally date but because of this rule i've been somewhat staying away. i don't have the slightest clue what to do! |
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Janice
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Post subject: We work t'gether, can we date?
Posted: Mar 24, 2006 - 09:06 PM
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Site Admin
Joined: Mar 19, 2004
Posts: 276
Location: New York City
Status: Offline
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There was a recent discussion on this message board that discussed dating someone that you work with. Here's the link to the thread: Is He Interested in Me?
The choice is yours -- to break the rule against fraternizing with other employees and taunt the "powers that be" to bust, and consequently fire you from your job? Or follow the rule to determine if it's more important to find another job in order to see if it's worth being with this guy. I have clients who have jobs where fraternizing is condoned, and while it makes some aspects of the job fun, there have been some serious side effects that make the practice very challenging, confusing and painful.
So perhaps the two of you could talk about this choice (like in a conference room or lounge). Truthfully, I would be suspicious of anyone in a supervisory position who says he's willing to break a rule. Then I'd wonder how well he really does do his job. |
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wakko
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Post subject: RE: We work t
Posted: Mar 27, 2006 - 09:57 PM
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Joined: Mar 24, 2006
Posts: 3
Status: Offline
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Actually he does his job very well. He just happened to mention going drinking with a co-woker was all. And I guess in my handbook that's even against the rules. I've also found another job. Though I plan to keep the one I'm at on the weekends. Oh and I have read that discussion. That was what promted me to post. For I'm pretty well positive that he's interested in me. It's just the whole supervisory position that's holding us both back. And I was at a complete loss of what to do, still am.
I forgot one thing. My meaning of fratinizing is basically sleeping together/around. And that's something that I'm not interested in. I've also been told from the mother of his ex (she also works with me) that he isn't like that. According to her he has "very christian believes" and "treats his girlfriends very good". |
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Janice
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Post subject: We work t'gether, can we date?
Posted: Apr 28, 2006 - 05:44 PM
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Site Admin
Joined: Mar 19, 2004
Posts: 276
Location: New York City
Status: Offline
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I recently received a question that reminded me of this previous thread here on the message board. So I'm going to resurrect the topic by posting his question here:
I can't stop thinking about this woman I work with, I'm crazy about her. I've never actually had a conversation with her face to face, we've exchanged email conversations several times mostly mindless banter I guess. I have no idea if she has a boyfriend or if she is even remotely interested in me. I'm not very good at the whole dance of meeting people and what should and shouldn't be done to increase the odds of someone being interested in you. I can't stop thinking about her and I would absolutely love to date this woman despite the fact that we've never actually had a face to face conversation. It's just this feeling that I can't escape I just know I would love this woman. I know it sounds like infatuation but I can't seem to shake it. Can you give me any ideas on how to make this one work out?
I have to suggest that you read the other posts to get an idea of my thinking about dating someone with whom you work. On another note, I'm concerned that you say you'd love to get to know this woman more, but you have never had a face-to-face encounter with her. So, what's driving you to want to get to know her other than her looks? While this can be reason enough to be interested in someone, to be as obsessed as you sound is a bit alarming.
That said, I'd suggest that you think twice about potentially jeopardizing your job in order to date someone you haven't even talked with. Maybe you could find a way to meet casually around the copy machine or the water cooler. Then decide how you want to proceed with your career. . . and your love life. |
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