General Discussion Forum - Exiting the friend Zone Secretloverboy - Dec 25, 2008 - 07:12 AM Post subject: Exiting the friend Zone
Hello everyone
I'm currently in high school.
Over the years, I've slowly become really close friends with this girl I know, to the point where she's now my best friend. We spend a lot of time together, even if that time is just talking to each other over facebook.
Our families go way back, and have become good friends too. My friend's sister who's married and 10 years older than me even pretends she's in love with me every time I see her. (subtle messaging? who knows)
The girl I like, we'll call her A, and I have so much in common, I've slowly begun to fall in love with her.
The problems:
1. She already liked me. Years ago. I missed my chance then and she doesn't like me in a romantic way any more.
2. She has a boyfriend who I'm friends with. He's two years older than us, and he's in college most of the school year. They've been dating for almost two years though. They still seem to like each other very much, but a few friends and I are slowly trying to drop hints that he's changed (because he actually has, we're not jerks accusing him randomly).
I'm starting to lose my patience. Since A's boyfriend just went to college this year, for the first time I've been spending a real lot of time with her. I've liked her more this year than I ever have before. And now that her boyfriend is back for Holiday Break, it just kills me.
She wants me to date other girls, unaware that I like her...
What should I do? Keep liking her? Date others with A in the back of my mind? Just give up? Wait it out? Sabatoge her boyfriend? (just kidding)...
I'm lost and confused on what to do here, and need help. Something other than "just wait it out dude" would be much appreciated! haha
Thank you, and Happy Holidays!
Secretloverboy
Janice - Jan 18, 2009 - 02:05 PM Post subject:
It seems like you are mostly interested in knowing how you can best undermine this girl's relationship with her boyfriend without ending up smelling bad. Finding ways to get her to like him less in order to like you more is very "high school." Oh, right, you ARE in high school
But if you're interested in seeing if you have a genuine future with this girl, then I suggest that you take the honest approach. Unfortunately, I don't see many openings to do that since she has already told you to date others. What I'm wondering is, why aren't you? This girl has told you that she is unavailable, so why put your life on hold? Even though you might have "blown it" in the past with her, it doesn't mean a thing today if she's in essence in a committed relationship with someone else.
So while I won't tell you to "wait it out dude," I will tell you to find more productive uses of your time and see who else you can hang out with, and maybe even date. If she ends up becoming available, because of her own efforts, that's when you can make a move. Good luck!
