|
I think the work we did together, the encouragement, the advice and accountability you gave me has been incredible, wise & very valuable. I am going to continue using everything I learned in my future dating endeavors which will hopefully end soon when I get engaged :-) and married....
-- Jessie[Click here to read more]
|
Main Menu
|
|
|
Online
|
|
|
|
|
  Welcome to my mind! This is where I share my thoughts, reactions and experiences as your relationship coach.
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
In a previous blog post, I discussed the phenomenon of change. I said that the natural shifts in nature occurring in the late summer and early fall make it easier to facilitate change, if you choose to make any.
But I realized that I wasn't finished talking about the subject! Not when
there are singles like you who want to make a change in their lives and become part of a gratifying life partner relationship. What kind of changes do those singles have to make in order to reach that goal? I don't have the one answer that'll fit for everyone, but I recently gained a new perspective. Here's how it happened: I was talking with my coach the other day. "What?" you may ask. "Janice has a coach?" Of course I do! I partner with a coach in order to get the information, support, insight and guidance I need to reach my goal of building a successful coaching business. And when I say "successful," I mean to reach as many singles as possible to give them the services they need to attain the kind of relationships and lives that they want. . . . But I digress. My coach reminded me about what happens when a person isn't successful in reaching his/her goals. She said that if you keep encountering obstacles, then you will continue to get the same result unless you change your whole approach. So while I could read a book or attend a teleclass or two about coaching, I'm not going to get as much mileage out of them as I would if they were part of a larger, customized action-plan I had co-created with an experienced coach. Although this conversation pertained to changes I need to make to reach my business goals, I realized that it also applies to singles searching for a life partner relationship . . . .
|
|
|
Posted by: Janice
on Monday, September 27, 2004
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
September is now well underway, and with it the feelings of change and renewal. Camp and vacations have ended, and everyone is either heading back to school or back to work. Growing up in Los Angeles, I remember the excitement of going to the local stationery store to purchase new school supplies. As young as the age of 12, I had to study the entire September issue of Seventeen Magazine before buying any new clothes. When I got older, I thought I would get similar advice by reading Vogue, but, well, I found it to be way too intimidating. To me, September feels significantly different than any other month. I think
that's because change is occurring on an organic level -- the sun, after reaching its solstice in June, is setting earlier and lower each week; the leaves are beginning to change color; and the weather is getting cooler. So I plan to take advantage of these shifts in nature and make some of my own shifts. On a personal level, I've decided to make a change too. I've begun the daily habit of taking vitamins. Not mega-doses, mind you, but at least a multi-vitamin and another supplement or two each day.
|
|
|
Posted by: Janice
on Friday, September 10, 2004
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I'm vacationing here in the high Catskill Mountains in New York State, elevation 2,300 feet. I've hiked some mountain trails over the years that's taken me to 5,000 feet, and I hope to do something like that again soon. Except the weather has been exceptionally damp!
Anyway, I thought to make a post on my blog since I can get (occasional) internet service. I've been reading lots of novels, none of them really worth reviewing, but I can say "I read that!" the next time someone mentions a book. For example, I read the new Helen Fielding novel (the author of "Bridget Jones' Diary" -- that famous British "singleton"), entitled "Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination." Olivia is also a single British woman who combines intelligence, intuition and outright paranoia to smell out a terrorist, and eventually seduce him into the hands of the authorities.
|
|
|
Posted by: Janice
on Wednesday, August 18, 2004
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I received a lot of feedback from the various people who visited my re-designed website prior to its debut. Some people said it was helpful & informative and easy to navigate, while others said that it was too busy, too confusing and overstuffed with information. Everything that was said sounded valid, and I reacted accordingly -- of course I will change this; yes, I will change that. Why? Because I wanted to please everyone, make them like me and my website, in the hopes that if I did, they would visit often and tell their friends. As I was about to implement everyone's recommendations, I stopped & asked myself -- who am I really supposed to please? If it's everyone who gave me feedback, then I know I'll end up feeling like a rubber band, pulled in every direction. But if my goal is to please myself, then I can pay attention to my own instincts and judgment in deciding how to best provide valuable insight and information to singles looking to find and create a life partner relationship. And in addition to trusting my instincts, I will pray that I continue to get it right so that I'm able to help as many people as I can who come to FocusedCoachingServices.com and spend the time learning how to use the site's (easy!) navigation.
|
|
|
Posted by: Janice
on Friday, July 02, 2004
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
My husband recently gave me flowers. The truth is, he brings me flowers every week (usually on Fridays), but last week was different -- he gave me a bunch of my most favorite flowers, stargazer lilies. For those of you who don't know much about flowers, these beautiful lilies have many shades of pink, and have an extremely strong fragrance, which I happen to love. The lilies also tend to last a long time -- usually more than a week -- because each stem has many buds that open gradually over time. So I've been enjoying the sites and smells emanating from my flowers all week long. But then someone came over who didn't like the lilies' scent at all. This reminded me that not everyone is going to like all of the things that I like. That's the reason why, for example, there are a skizillion perfumes manufactured and marketed every year. When I went perfume shopping for Mother's Day with one of my daughters, we had a difficult time finding a scent that we could both agree that Grandma would like, and perhaps even love. Just like shopping for perfume, or buying flowers, who you choose to be your life partner is a very distinctive, individual process. No one can tell you what to like -- you have check your own "nose" to determine that. Not that I'm comparing people with perfume or flowers; well, not exactly (!). But there's enough similarities in the process where you have to trust your instincts to identify what's right for you. Anything else just wouldn't make scents.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Finally, it's May! I have been looking forward to a real feeling of Spring for a long time and had designated the beginning of May as the time when I'd indulge. And wouldn't you know it? New York City is getting a drenching. Again. Which reminded me of last spring, when we had record-breaking rainfall, especially on the weekends. I felt a depression coming on . . . but then I was able to stop myself.
What popped up into my head was a song lyric by Bob Dylan: "Into every life, a little rain must fall." I began to realize that, well, maybe I need to accept that not every day is going to be a sunny one. Hmmm, I thought, if that's the reality, then maybe I can learn to accept other unwanted situations, too. I then made a pledge not to do what I did last year, which was to let the rain wash away my good spirit for spring.
I have found that a similar attitude is also useful for singles who are actively searching for a life partner. You might not have thought that you'd be in the same situation this spring as last spring -- still searching. But instead of succumbing to a negative attitude, I challenge you to make an adjustment. If "into every life, a little rain must fall," it's therefore up to you to do something different to handle the rain, i.e., an unwanted situation. You could read a new book, or attend a live or virtual class in order to develop better relationship skills. Or you could participate in new activities where you'd have opportunities to meet some new people.
I admit that an unwanted situation can tend to be immobilizing. But it's really an opportunity for us to make the most of it. After all, how would flowers bloom if it weren't for the rain?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
