• Home
• Login/Register
• 
  
• 
  Our Services
  
• Personal Coaching
• Relationship Coaching
• Teleclasses & Events
• Products
• Complimentary Session
• About Dr. Janice
• Testimonials
• 
  
• 
  Get Your Love Right!
  
• Blog
• Articles
• Q's & A's
• Archives Index
• e-Newsletter Signup
• 
  
• 
  Other Destinations
  
• Message Boards
• Reviews
• News
• Contact Us
• Recommend Us
• Affiliations & Links
• Banners
• AvantGo

I recently worked with 2 single men living in 2 very different parts of the world with different dating challenges. Both of these men are looking for a life partner, however I’m going to change some of their other identifying information in order to protect their privacy. The points and ideas that I want to make however, are true and real.

John lives in New Zealand. John is divorced and acknowledges that there are not that many single women living within a 200 mile radius of his home. This makes dating to find a life partner a challenge for him. Martin lives in San Francisco and, by the way, is heterosexual. He believes that his sexual orientation works to his advantage, as there are many single women living in S.F. who are “looking for a straight guy like me.” His challenge though, is that there is an abundance of available women. And since he’s looking for just one life partner, he’s afraid that if he gets too close to one, then there could be a “better” one waiting for him around the corner.

Debra was an only child from an affluent family. Her mother had always said, “It’s just as easy to love someone rich as it is to love someone poor.” But it was not that “easy” for Debra. The man she fell in love with was a high school teacher, who came from a middle-class home where both parents were teachers. Debra and her eventual husband had a lot of discussions about the kind of lifestyle they wanted, and could afford, which was challenging for Debra since her mother’s words kept ringing in her ears. But they were able to work out their different expectations and are now happily married.

Adam was “adament” about not dating anyone long-distance, until he met Cindy at a Super Bowl party at a friend’s house. Cindy came with her brother, whom she was visiting from out-of-town (like 500 miles out-of-town). It was during the course of the game that Adam noticed Cindy.

An experience that I hear people talk a lot about is “guilt.” When a person has expectations of him/herself, or often of others, and it doesn't get met, guilt can find its way in. Guilt is most famous for being an unpleasant and even painful emotion that can hover inside us for long stretches of time. It can affect how we feel about ourselves and how we interact in our relationships.

I'm going to try and post a feature every Friday which I plan to call
"Focused Fridays." This will hopefully be a source of inspiration
and guidance as you go into your weekend activities, the most likely time that
you'll be meeting lots of people, one of whom might be a potential candidate for
your life partner.

I think that a good place to start is by reinforcing the concept that a singles
should still feel lovable and acceptable even if they don't have a life partner.
It's important that singles have a healthy self-esteem, and know that they are
worthwhile and whole people regardless of their marital status. Most importantly,
having a healthy self-esteem enables you to declare that you deserve happiness and
fulfillment in your life, now and in the future.

So whether or not you have any real “dates” lined up, do something that you
enjoy this weekend. Invite a friend, a family member, or a co-worker, and focus
on experiencing the great person that you already are! That can only make you
that much more attractive when you finally meet that special someone.