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Your advice was always excellent and I believe very helpful in allowing me to become engaged to the most wonderful girl! I found you to be genuinely concerned with my success.
-- J., age 42[Click here to read more]
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There are ways to gather information about your dating partner without sounding like you're conducting an interrogation. Here are some questions and areas to pursue, in an easy-going, comfortable manner, that'll help you determine if you share a similar life path and goals.
What do you want out of life?
What would be your ideal life?
How important is family, kids, career? Where do you want your career to head?
How important is spirituality and religious practices in your life?
Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, 20 years?
(One of my favorites): What inspired you today?
Pay close attention to information about your dating partner?s family background and dynamics.
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Especially the relationships the person has with his or her parents. What is the quality of his/her relationship with the opposite sex parent.? And what is his or her relationship like with the mother? You should want to know about the quality of the parents? marriage, since it?s good to know as much as you can about whether the parents enjoy, or simply tolerate, each other.
Other areas to investigate should include what the person enjoys about his/her daily experience. You want to know whether s/he is happy, and why. Does s/he get a lot of meaning from their job? How involved might s/he be at a church, synagogue, charity or other community activities.
Family, work, life gratification. These areas will give you a wealth of information about someone, if you?re paying attention!
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Posted by: Janice on Monday, July 12, 2004 - 03:00 PM
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Comments
mmorgannyc
Jul 16, 2004 - 12:16 PM
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Re: Questions to help you learn about your date
Janice,
I'd like to add one thing to the questionings...
when i review my last relationship, i would have seen upfront incompatiblility not simply because we were different in experiences but because we could not be further apart in how we coped, learned, grew from personal, let's say early negative experiences, at this stage of our lives..
So that is an important lense, i think to lok through. If the person had, let say, a traumatic childhood, what have they done in their lives to grow and overcome the negative consequences> i think you may have said something like this.
I think of Oprah Winfrey, for example who overcame a lot and worked hard to do so.
Growth grows character. Very attractive!
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