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Q. I am a divorced man with three children whom I am actively co-parenting with my ex-wife. I recently re-entered the dating scene, but am confused about what to look for now since, as a father, my circumstances are different than they were when I dated prior to my marriage. What should I be looking for in a wife now?
A. I commend you for continuing to be an active father in your children?s lives even though you are no longer married to their mother. I realize that co-parenting under these circumstances is challenging, but your children will definitely benefit from your continued involvement.
Yes, your circumstances are different now, and the women that are available to you are different too. As a father already, it’s important that you decide whether or not you want to have more children with a new wife, and that whatever you decide, you should communicate that desire to whomever you date. A divorced woman who also has children may make a suitable candidate for you, as you could have a lot in common being single parents. Blending families can be challenging, but also very rewarding, as well as stabilizing, for children and adults who have experienced divorce.
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What I think is most important however, is that you seek to marry a woman who has the enduring qualities of kindness and generosity. Truth be told, she really must love children. And in order to be an effective step-parent to your children, she should be willing to learn each of your children’s personalities, likes and dislikes. If she doesn’t have children of her own, she could benefit from studying child development books and other child-rearing materials.
A single who agrees to date someone with children also has to be prepared to share. Singles, especially those without children, should prepare themselves for dating someone who does. But for now, be sure that the women you date are able to accept that your relationship with your children is a priority, and even encourage and support your efforts to father them.
I realize that this is a tall order to fill when it comes to looking for a wife. Support is key, so please let me know how it goes. I wish you much luck and success!
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Welcome !
