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Your coaching helped me to see that I had a healthy partnership with the man I was dating, enhanced by our good communication. And so we got engaged!
-- S.L.[Click here to read more]
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Hi Janice, I am in my mid-thirties (single, no kids) and recently began dating a man, also single, mid-thirties, no kids, whom I met online. We dated for two weeks before he left to go out of town for three weeks to visit family and friends. Before he left, our chemistry, although slowly building, was definitely strong and we have an unmistakable intellectual and physical attraction (and, no, we haven't slept together). He called me daily, told me on our dates that he was interested in and attracted to me, and talked about things we would do when he returned from his trip. He's now been gone a week and he finally left a phone message yesterday, though only after I had called and left two messages for him over the previous week. I should also say that I was rarely the one initiating our calls before he left; he was the pursuer. I assumed he would want to talk to me while he was gone, so now I'm not sure what to think: if he was interested in me, wouldn't he be calling just to talk? Or should I assume he's very busy and more likely to call again before he returns home? That's two weeks away, and I just don't know if I should bother calling him again. I would love to talk with him, but don't want to be too persistent and come across as needy...please help! Your dating dilemma is full of all of the reasons why singles have to be careful when they date someone they met online. You dated for two weeks before he went away "to visit friends and family." How do you know if this is the truth? Not that I like being an extremist, but I suspect that he's actually going home to his wife and kids after being away "on a business trip" where he met you. Online dating profiles are an unpoliced environment where lies and half-truths abound. . . .
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You became attracted and attached to a man that you know nothing about, other than what he wrote in his profile, and what you could glean within a two week period. I suggest that you not bother calling him again, and not so you won't come across as needy. It's because you're most likely a part of his life that he wants to keep secret from his real life.
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Posted by: Janice on Tuesday, January 31, 2006 - 01:09 AM
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